Is it love or is it lust?

I question this really hard and deep. Inside there are parts broken, parts that still hurt and ache internally from previous encounters and long lost lovers. Lovers who left, some of stayed, some are friends, some of have betrayed me and nearly left my heart on the concrete floor to be stepped on again and again.

Now I dig myself up from the trenches and give myself the love that I been searching for forever. If only all the bitterness, hate and jealousy every partner had ever brought to me could be erased in a instant.

Instead, I digress, I sew my heart back together. I pick up the pieces that were broken glue them back together. I wash myself off the dirt. I cleanse my energy continually, I know I can’t stand too close to the next toxic contaminated being. We are poison for each other, we have to make a choice on what poison we want in our veins.

Because, we are no cure in the flesh and love is the most powerful drug in the world. Hate is the power that will try and rule against it. Love drives all darkness and hate out. Belief must come within and peace is to be achieved not received. Underneath, all the layers of the worlds madness is true beauty. You just have to find it for yourself. Stop circling in the madness and open your eyes to the universes creation. True healing can come from nature, reading a book, talking to a friend or dating and falling in love with the right person.

Repeat After me:

I am safe,

I am protected.

I am loved.

I am beautiful.

I am healthy.

Clear your mind; see the visions.

Tricked

Every new face, every new flesh, is a trick, none of you are who you say who you are. You’re all wolves in sheep clothing. Playing games and shoveling me within your deck you stolen. I am just the mess you ’caused that your not willing to clean up.

Broken butterflies with torn wings. Ashes falling into the pits of blackened dreams. Cutting up apart the seams of her blouse. Taking off the dress she wore for you that night. Smeared lipstick and running eyeliner. I may make you crazy. You make me insane.

Honestly, I don’t give anymore chances. This is our last dance. I am not filling this empty space with a broken toy. Misfit land is meant for the broken boys and girls.

I am not going back. I am on a journey to heal and put my pieces and jigsaw puzzle back together. So next time you ask me to dance with you. I refuse. you loose.

I win I am gaining a thicker skin. I will not lower myself down to the wishing wells of hell. Cracked the pot. He thinks he hit the jack pot. Really her brains just cracked.

So step away …step back. Before danger attacks.

Tear Me Apart

You tear me apart,

You rip me from the inside like ripping petals of a rose, deserting a briefcase full of money like it has no worth. I feel like I deserve so much better then, what I have gave myself.

I literally, drive myself crazy letting you in to destroy me. I am done allowing your demons into mold me into a bad human being. I want light to enter me. Not other’s darkness.

I will stand up against, the black tide, I will arise like a hydra from water and a lotus from the mud. I am not broken, I am fixed and healing.

I am done and through with letting you devalue my whole being. Goodbye your a monster, a narcissistic, manipulative being.

A bad seed, that must be left to rot. That I will not water any longer. I shall water my own roots, grow my own path, without you tearing me apart anymore. Watch me grow in my trenches, trudging the highest ground while, you fall beneath me.