Is it love or is it lust?

I question this really hard and deep. Inside there are parts broken, parts that still hurt and ache internally from previous encounters and long lost lovers. Lovers who left, some of stayed, some are friends, some of have betrayed me and nearly left my heart on the concrete floor to be stepped on again and again.

Now I dig myself up from the trenches and give myself the love that I been searching for forever. If only all the bitterness, hate and jealousy every partner had ever brought to me could be erased in a instant.

Instead, I digress, I sew my heart back together. I pick up the pieces that were broken glue them back together. I wash myself off the dirt. I cleanse my energy continually, I know I can’t stand too close to the next toxic contaminated being. We are poison for each other, we have to make a choice on what poison we want in our veins.

Because, we are no cure in the flesh and love is the most powerful drug in the world. Hate is the power that will try and rule against it. Love drives all darkness and hate out. Belief must come within and peace is to be achieved not received. Underneath, all the layers of the worlds madness is true beauty. You just have to find it for yourself. Stop circling in the madness and open your eyes to the universes creation. True healing can come from nature, reading a book, talking to a friend or dating and falling in love with the right person.

Repeat After me:

I am safe,

I am protected.

I am loved.

I am beautiful.

I am healthy.

Clear your mind; see the visions.

Harmed

Don’t be alarmed, clock hits midnight, I see all the city lights, junkies hit the streets, hidden crimes, sinful deeds seen in plain sight. Whose gonna get murdered tonight, where’s your children? Are they running the streets tonight? Endless Vicious cycles circling around the seams of teenage hopeless dreams. Walking around like zombies, zonked out of their minds on drugs. Whose the thug that gave them the chemicals? What is love? When all we know as a generation is hate? Hate fills the buckets of our cities of our societies. Love is the answer but, we aren’t searching for it.

Harm has been done to us, we aren’t acknowledging it. I wanna pull the plug from the life line. I wanna call the quits. How many hits and shots do we have to take? Until, the galactic federation and light warriors break? Or do we fold under pressure? Do we just bend back and become glistening and bright shining soldiers stronger then ever! I wanna know is there a destination to meet at the end of this rugged, dark treacherous road.

The roads are closed and dim. My light, is dying and I am wearing thin. Clothes are tattered and attitude is bitter, sour and I bite my lips and grind my teeth. Breathing through a mask, I can hardly breathe in. Suffocating under a locked down country. Behind, this global virus and epidemic. Screams lives of the trafficked women and children, the drug addicted teenagers and mothers. The homeless starving and without shelter. When will we look at our real life problems? Or will we continue to be a bystander and watch society crumble and fall through the cracks.

Being a healer, white light, warrior of light and light worker is not a joke, I am wiping off dust, dirt and bruises and scratches off my body everyday. Trying to make a difference in world so brutal and invisible to it’s own painful shameful games. The wickedness wretchedness ways. These are the dark daze and this world isn’t over yet. I see it’s end coming. I just pray for true healing and a recovered planet worth rebuilding.

Only if others, will step in and see a world worth believing and fighting for. We have to fight for each other. Practice kindness, love, faith and trust.

Not hate, greed, envy or lust.

I am done! I am filled with disgust! I wanna wake up to a world of peace!! I release this poem in hopes I inspire or spark, transpire an awakening spiritually in your minds.

So you can find your true soul mission and fight the shadow groups and elites and reptilians. These snakes will not win!!! We are born of light and they will be cast out!!

So many of us pure; so many of them built from darkness and sin.

Prison Boys

Prison boys,
Blue jeans white shirt tucked. Blood stains on the bathroom wall.
Drugs hidden in the bathroom stalls.

Shadows creeping through the deep end.
Which way to go? I geuss there’s no way out besides
to bury a tunnel and climb our way out.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror everyday I am taught these lessons.
I don’t want to listen but, my ears are forced wide open.

Prison doors, locked slammed and closing.
Prison door locks.

I remember just the other day I was catching a lick and beating
up a cop in a black out.

I remember just the other day, I was hustling ya know
my checks scream so loud. Don’t take offense.

I am a prison boy speaking from my own head,
my own origin.

I remember fucking bitches different days, stuck in a haze.
My money screamed so loud. Until one day, my ‘ol lady was here
with our kid and I hear the cops banging on the door so loud.

I ran so far from those pigs, I could see the clouds for miles and miles.
My feet became weak and I started stumbling down.

I passed out and there they found me overdosing on the ground.
I closed my eyes, I could feel the blood run from my nose. I look up and
see my baby and my o’ lady smiling and she said, ”make the right decision, daddy make me proud.”

Then the clouds disappear and it’s pitch black. I try to grab my gun and my flask and I reach down and the pig grabs my hand.

I got arrested and locked in the pin.

Because, god said,
”I am not a man, I am the devil. Yes I am.”

Prison Boy.
Prison Boys.

Poem 1 following other poems that will be continuing the story line after this poem.

This story and creative poem is not a true story. However, is based
on fictional character speaking in third person about a created and written story from their own personal life experiences.

CARACAS, VENEZUELA – 27 MAY 2016: A group of prisoners locked in their cells inside the municipal police station of Chacao, located east of Caracas. Amid an economic crisis, the jails in Venezuela are suffering from Chronic overcrowdings and prisioners lack adequeate food and medicine. ( Photo by Alvaro Ybarra Zavala / Getty Images Reportage for Time. )

Unborn

Unborn,

Like a root that dies before reaching sunlight to grow.
A-fly caught in it’s web trying to escape.
Spider without it’s leg trying to weave it’s own web.
A flower dying before it can reach its’ full growth.

Her name was ”Butterfly.”
My little butterfly, it’s okay if you don’t make it to fly.

The father that instilled your seed inside me is no friend to me. The father left me with feelings leaving me so deadly, broken hearted and, yearning to be a mother.

I wasn’t allowed to keep you. He didn’t need me or want me anymore. What else was I supposed to do?

Someone dies a life is giving. Out of the storm, I chose to become a better women.
So, the next seed planted inside me will have a chance to grow. I’ll be a strong-capable women of making my own decisions.
No one having a say, faith, order and obey! But, they never listened to word that she had to say.

That women will grow and, butterfly you will be, right by her side.

All-the-rage, drinking and, drugs will no longer be a part of her life
out of the storm,

Autumn and Butterfly will grow.
Out of pain, a new strength will unfold,
out of broken women, a better women will become.

If you fly, I’ll fly with you.’

A life offered but, quickly taken away.
It wasn’t the right time they said. Your too young and too dumb. The lies they tell bent through your head.
I’ll fly for you, I’ll live for you even when, you didn’t get to choose.

Unborn,
Torn with the tragedy
All that is left are the traumatic memories.

Feelings of numbness, emptiness, and doubt will disappear.

She will stand up and fight for her fears.

Joy and happiness will reappear.

With death comes transformation.
Death is not always the answer but, a lesson for us all to learn and understand.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Warrior

She’s strong from the indomitable will that is built with raw golden steel.

She’s unbreakable. No Mistress, no Master or Dom can tame her.

She is so wise that even the birds sing and ask for advice when, she is in public eye.

She carries herself with strength and empowers everyone who surrounds her.

No army or pack can threaten or break her.

She is determined in everything she does.

A queen, a goddess. A warrior who continues to fight and doesn’t give up.

No matter what. Evil kings try to bring her down; She won’t give up,

Not now. Must set aside the bloody crown. Teach that king to lay his sword down.